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12 September 2012 @ 09:55 am
30 June 2012 @ 11:15 pm
It pisses me off when people call new fans superficial. They are new fans. When exactly does someone become a 'real fan'?? What initiation and pop quiz do they have to pass to get that title?
People are attracted to bands usually through a song and/or the concept/look. They are then immediately drawn to a member because of face value and first impressions. Then when they learn more about the members the bias may change or they will learn to love their original bias even more. IT'S ALWAYS GONNA BE BASED ON LOOKS OR THE CUTENESS OR THE HAIR OR THE MUSCLES OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. It just really fucks me off when I see people being all elitist and 'I found this band first blah blah blah I'm a better/bigger/truer fan than you blah blah I need to save my precious oppas from these new people who want to learn more about them, how dare they'. I got into Infinite because of Dongwoo's red hair, Sungjong's blonde locks and 'the cute one in the cardy' in the BTD mv. First bias in Cross Gene was Takuya because he is plainly gorgeous, now JG and Sangmin are standing out because they're just aslfds;lfsd. Things change but first appearances are usually based on something superficial.
  • lightning bolt
  • trident
  • anchor
  • fuck
  • lmao
  • infinity
Current Location: United Kingdom, Portsmouth
Current Mood: crankycranky
Current Music: Crash - You Me At Six
27 May 2012 @ 05:14 pm

I was talking to the psyc last week and I couldn't put into words how soul destroying not doing anything with my life is. Like...the idea that I'll be stuck not doing anything exciting for the rest of my life scares me and the woman was like 'because you think you'll die and not leave anything meaningful behind" and that's not it.

I can't explain it. I just get panicky and this longing empty feeling thinking that my life will be empty lmfao idk. I hate it tho.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

23 May 2012 @ 09:56 pm
holy shit.
it's nearly 10pm and still about 26degrees c here.
i feel like I'm boiling alive.
It's all very well for people who live with this temp all the time *cough Texans cough* but I'm used to British springs. With rain. And temperatures hovering around 8 degrees c. I like it to be about 20. With a breeze. Not so hot that I'm sweating whilst sitting doing nothing ;______;
Tmi but idec.

Okay. Hi flist. I say that...but only eljjang and blingblingtofu read my posts apparently XD and livvyxo sometimes.

SAY HI....

Come on. Let me know you're there.

blingblingtofu...Ade. I just want to say thank you for your comment on my last post ;; it was a really love thing to say and very reassuring lmfao. I still don't forsee a boyfriend any time soon, but it's nice that my friends have faith.

I am so happy with the rookies this year. BAP, Nu'est, Exo and JJ Project have blown me away. BAP and JJ Project bring something completely new with their styles of music. Exo is talented...their music is a bit SM-Town-Generic but tres tres catchy. Nu'est brings a fresh take on idol music and has a song with a strong campaign behind it (anti-bullying). They're all lovely people *cough bar fuckface cough* >____> and I'm so glad 2012 has brought me new talent and music to enjoy. I can't stop listening to JJ Project's Bounce...and the boys are so cute, although I keep like...merging JB with his Dream High 2 character...and mourning what could have been in that drama. I think it's because he had the same name in the drama lmao. But their tricks when dancing are fierce. BAP is all round fierce...in every way and I have so much love for those boys. Nu'est....they have all my planets and Baekho has fucking solar systems. Exo...well...I have a love hate rship with them but it's mainly love.
Omg brb.
13 May 2012 @ 12:30 am

I'm lying here thinking that I'm literally going to be alone forever because I honestly can't think how I'm ever gonna get a bf.

I can't talk to guys. I don't know any guys. I have never been asked out...not properly. I'm terrified that I'm going to be alone forever. Not going to have a bf or kids or settle down or not settle down idek.

I'm terrified of rejection in all aspects of my life, so I'm never gonna be able to go ask a guy out and no one ever likes me so I can't really rely on someone making the first move. And even if they did I would be like why are you doing this?? What's the catch? But it's fine, I don't have to worry about that bc it's never gonna happen

There's this cute guy at work who is always really nice to me. It makes me nervous lmao. But I know he's being nice to me bc he's a nice guy and not bc he likes me.

It's been ingrained into me by bad experiences with pm all the guys at my high school that if they're being nice to me/complimenting me that it's bc they are taking the piss and trying to get a laugh from their mates. "soandso fancies you" "omg really??" "lolno who would fancy you?". "would you go out with Josh?" "..." "eww gross don't ask her that".

Why would anyone like me though? I wouldn't fancy me...

BFFluce is always like "that guy was checking you out" and my answer is always "/no/, he was looking at you". Or she'll say that a guy was flirting with me and I'll side eye her and be all /yeah right/. Idk what flirting is like, idk if guys flirt with me. I highly doubt it.

I know it's issues with myself that I have to change but I wishthat someone would just like me for who I am at the moment. I think that with all the billions of people there has to be one guy who would fancy me but I just don't know where he is.

I just want someone to like me. For me to like then back. To actually experience a relationship. Idk man. This has been a pathetic, self-pitying, post. Stay tuned for more dumb issues.

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27 March 2012 @ 12:35 am
remember when birthdays used to be a fun occasion?
we had discos and you'd be at school and it would be your day?
for the past few years I have been, as per usual, excited prior to my birthday. I have expectations that it will be an enjoyable experience, where I will catch a break because it's that one day a year that is supposed to be mine....and for the past few years I have been highly disappointed when my sister has been a total bastard for the entire day. i don't get it. i seriously don't understand. she gets presents and taken out and cake and food, some of her favourite things in life. you'd think she'd be happy. she snaps, or ignores me, or refuses to do things, to refuses to do what i ask, basically ruins every good thing that we do. i end up feeling bad because i'm in a bad mood all day because of her and i take it out on my mum, who makes a real effort with our birthdays.

i just end the day having a cry and feeling like shit....like i did this evening .__.
i'm just not going to bother.
it's too much hassle.
i hate that i share it with her in the first place and then she fucking ruins it. 
i probably sound ungrateful, but i'm not. i am truly thankful for my presents and my mum taking us out and spending time with her and friends. it is literally just my sister and the bastard tempers she throws. and then at 22.40 she's all happy as larry and wants to suddenly sit and talk to us and I'm like really?! all fucking day you've had to be nice to us and you wait until 20 to 11 in the evening?!

I fucking fell over earlier as well. I haven't done it in ages, and i wasn't even fucking wearing heels, but my bastard ankle turned and i went down. i grazed my leg and bruised my arm.

i went to get new bras properly fitted {gone from a 42 C to a 40GG lmfao. proper fittings always send your cup size sky high. she got me into a 38GG but it was tight man, so i have to work my way down to it} but i didn't come away with any bras because she has to order my size in. I was hoping that a fucking proper bra shop would have my size, but no...even they don't. /whale/.

i can't be arsed with capitals rn.

a whole load of people, old friends, new friends and family, wished me happy birthday on facebook which made me happy. I had a steady stream of alerts on my phone. 

oh. it's 00.24. birthday is offish over.. idrc rn.

i got jewellery, makeup, justin biebz makeup case, justin biebz earrings, justin biebz earring stand, dvds, money for expenise fancy bras, gloves/hand warmers (FURRYYYY), socks, pants (pants pants not pants trousers) aaand money...oh and knives, chopping board (with a union jack), ladle, spatula and purple food scales for the kitchen ^ 3^

with the money I bought some bright blue legging/jeggings, 2 books, aand 2 like...tank tops. 

bye then.

p.s i added a load of new userpics and the majority of them are dudes in frames.

completely unintentionally ofc. look at those pretty dudes.
Current Location: United Kingdom
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: EXO-K - WHAT IS LOVE | Powered by Last.fm
16 March 2012 @ 10:18 pm
I'm all h8exo4life and then this happens

In other news...this has also happened

and the fact that 4/5 are 95 line pains me.

So. To summarise. I am a hypocrite who likes teenage boys.

Current Location: United Kingdom, Swansea
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: EXO-K - HISTORY | Powered by Last.fm
10 March 2012 @ 12:35 am
Gonna backtrack on my violent exo feels.
I have no shame.
Kai's face annoys me but I realised that, rather than disliking the band, I actually dislike SM and Exo fans.
Exo fans (not all) are annoying like Shawols (again, not all) and SM's predeb promotional strategy really fucks me off.
However, I watched numerous Exo videos today (I blame Ashlii) and there are a fair few cuties. Plus I kinda like History.
Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Sehun, Luhan and Suho are the ones I like. Luhan has a really small face. Chanyeol looks babyfaced and is really tall. Baekhyun is stunning with a gorgeous voice. Suho and Sehun are just goodlooking and I like that.
The dog, Sir Fluffington, featured in some of their videos is my bias. He's beautiful ;;
In other news, Ashlii's gonna buy me a Kai cutout and a plastic (wipeclean) cutout of Oppa (Sunggyu). 
Current Music: Ray LaMontagne - Trouble | Powered by Last.fm
I feel like what I'm doing in life is pointless. What's the point in stanning idols? Sitting online looking at pictures of them for hours...why? I sometimes feel like I'm not doing anything with my life, which I know is untrue. I just need to get through the next 36months of school and then I can actually get a proper job, where I'm well paid, my own money, move out, travel, have fun. Or I have to hope I will, otherwise I'm going to spend my life stuck here, with no money, living at home, doing a job I don't enjoy and I can't bear the thought. That can't be my life. I have to do something before I die and it's just nothingness. Before my mind goes black and I start rotting into the soil. I have to make something of myself. I have to have kids and family and friends and do things that make my life worth something.
Otherwise it's pointless.
There has to be more to life than this lonely, cheap, never-changing crap that I have going on at the moment.
p.s. on a pedantic note. that shit should say "I'm starting to look at myself differently". Bitches always forget about adverbs.
Current Music: TEEN TOP - Angel | Powered by Last.fm
03 February 2012 @ 08:37 pm
Soo I logged back onto Dailybooth for the first time in about 6 months. 
And I miss people from there :/
Jonny and Will are freaking engaged ffs. I'm so happy for them. I knew them both before they knew each other. I've met Jonny multiple times and I used to Skype with Will all the time. 
I miss them. I miss Bobby and Alex and Cameron.
Fdofjdkgmdffdkjgdf I can't just sidle back in. Idek if they remember me fgs. I've commented saying congratulations and idk. I miss that community so much.